Archive for the ‘fatal mistakes with women’ Category

Ten Fatal Mistakes With Women - Part 7

Monday, April 7th, 2008

part7.pngDear Speed Seduction® Student,

In the last issue, I spoke about the fatal mistake of chasing, instead of choosing. I talked about how you could solve this problem by using the 3 S’s: Screening, Selectivity, and Standards.

Today, I’d like to talk to you about…

Fatal Mistake With Women #7-Not Having An Easy, Reliable, Effective, Consistent Method To Meet A Stream Of Hot Women, Anytime, Anywhere

Listen: one of the biggest issues I see with my students is that they are stuck in what I call “relationships by default”.

This means that they have(or have had) a girlfriend, but she really isn’t someone they are truly into.

They’ve tried to improve things or “make it work” but they just couldn’t. And if they knew they could find a woman kinder, more fun, sexier or hotter…

…They’d Leave The Loser Girl Behind In A Heartbeat!

But the problem is, they only meet women occasionally or by accident.

Put very simply here is Ross Jeffries’ Rule #68 For Success With Women:

If You Don’t Have Women To Choose,
You Can’t Have Choice With Women!
To use a metaphor, if you don’t have a way to constantly fill your nets, even the occasional sardine begins to look like a prize catch.

This is a very bad situation, to say the least.

Now just to offer you even more value in this issue, let me give you some quick tips and clues that you can use to start meeting women anytime, anywhere. I’ve taught greatly expanded versions of these to students for the past 15 years, and these are the ones they seem to really like and use:

1. Remember that 99% of the time, the worst that will happen is NOTHING will happen. That is to say that women, contrary to your fears or negative fantasies, really aren’t going around looking to shoot men down. For the most part, they aren’t looking to do harm or be mean. So when things don’t go the way you want, you won’t get yelled at or insulted or laughed down.

When things DO go wrong, 99% of the time, the woman simply won’t respond. She’ll ignore your comment. Or smile meekly. Or just walk away.

I’ve NEVER been slapped. I’ve seldom been yelled at(and often turn that around into a successful seduction). But I am sometimes ignored. So what?

2. Rather than guess or speculate what will happen, move forward and let the real life situation tell you what will take place. You see, for most guys it is not fear or anxiety that keeps them stuck. It’s the conflict between the desire to talk to the girl, and the desire to be certain before they take a step.

Rather than diminish your desire by going after uglier women or telling yourself that she’s probably “a bitch” or “taken” it works better to diminish your desire to be certain.

Let me give you an attitude to adopt that will help you get your feet moving:

“When I don’t know what to do, I take a bold step forward”.

3. Always use a “pre-opener” before you deliver your actual opening line.

In my experience, women will welcome the most outrageous, bizarre, even corny and dumb ass approaches and lines IF you first say something common-place, ordinary, even boring before you pull out the outrageous stuff.

Say the outrageous, corny, dumb-ass stuff first, and you’ll probably get nowhere.

Say it AFTER you first use a boring, mundane “pre-opener” and it gets eagerly accepted 90% of the time.

The explanation for this is far too complex to give here. But lets give you a few examples to go out and try:

You: (at a Starbucks) Can you pass me the sugar?
Her: Here you go
You: You aren’t Jamaican, are you?
Her: No
You: Cuz Ja-makin’ me crazy.

You: (anywhere) Nice shoes
Her: Thanks
You: You aren’t from Tennessee, are you?
Her: No
You: Cause you’re the only 10 I see!

You: Good morning
Her: Good morning
You: You aren’t Russian, are you?
Her: No
You: Good…cause you ought to take your time when you’re meeting someone you’re really going to like.

Now listen: if you think these lines and routines are incredibly stupid, trite, corny and idiotic, and that no women would possibly go for them, I couldn’t agree more, if they are the first thing out of your mouth.

But if you deliver them AFTER the normal, boring, “pre-opener”, then contrary to your believe and counter to your intution they usually totally work to get her laughing and welcoming your approach.

4. In any kind of popular, crowded, social scene, like a party, a club, a lounge, or a bar, make friends with the room before you pick up on women!

If you enter a social scene with the vibe of a predator and immediately go right on the prowl, the women watching will pick up on your hungry vibe and you will turn them off before you even approach them.

Just think of that hungry-to-make-a-deal car salesman who comes storming at you the instant you enter the lot and demands to know if you “are ready to buy a car today”!

If instead you learn to first be friendly with everyone in the setting-men and women-you will be perceived by the women there as open, fun, and non-threatening.

This will make your life a lot easier when you do make your approach, and will often even result in your being introduced to groups of women by the new “friends” that you are making.

Trust me when I say that will make your work a hell of a lot easier.

Ok, there’s plenty, plenty more I’d like to teach on this subject. But for now, I’ll see you in the next installment of this series.

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Ten Fatal Mistakes With Women - Part 6

Sunday, April 6th, 2008

part6.pngDear Speed Seduction® Student,

In the last installment of this series, I spoke about the fatal error of setting your sights too low; of engaging in diminishing and deluding, instead of reaching for your vision of the kinds of women who would bring you crazy joy and satisfaction, filling your heart and thrilling your dick.

In this issue, I’d like to talk about…

Fatal Mistake #6: Chasing, Not Choosing

Much of what I teach involves paradox; ideas that seem to go against common sense, but that really contain breakthrough insights.

One of these ideas that seems to fly in the face of common sense is this: the more selective a man is when it comes to women, the greater selection he will have.

Now, I know at first this may seem a bit nuts: how could being willing to reject, and even actually rejecting women lead to having more women to select?

Well, it works like this: when you have actual standards for women and screen and select based on them, it makes you far more attractive than guys who will put up with crap, settle for second(or even third or fourth) best or compromise on self-respect to get a bit of poon.

Having standards, screening and selecting makes you much more attractive than he kinds of guys who act so eager to please or so grateful for any positive attention that they sicken women and drive them away.

Listen: women enjoy feeling challenged, and a guy with standards who is screening and selecting is a big challenge; he is setting the frame that he is the one who needs to be convinced, and that women must work for his favor.

(Don’t worry: I assure you that this can be done WITHOUT being a jerk, a-hole, bad boy or bad guy. I’ll show you how)

Just as importantly, when it comes to very beautiful women, we should stop to consider the trust issue: beautiful women are so used to be being bullshitted and lied to, that guys who come across as too agreeable just aren’t viewed as trustworthy.

When a woman gets out of line, acts flakey, mood, or disrespectful, and you don’t call her on it, she not only thinks of you as weak, she thinks of you as dishonest. Any honest guy would come right out and tell her that he is pissed off and that he won’t put up with her nonsense.

The Real Truth About Women And “Nice Guys” Revealed

It’s not that women dislike “nice guys” because they are boring or weak(although that is also true).

Women dislike nice guys because they don’t fucking trust them. And rightly so, because the the nice guy is hiding and withholding the honesty of his disagreement, his displeasure and even his anger.

So when you do stick to your standards and call a woman on her BS it actually first and foremost creates trust in your communication. Then and only then does the strength of your stance reassure and attract her.

Consistently exercising the 3 S’s throughout the relationship as well as the pick-up enables you to enjoy pro-active leadership, instead of reactive drama.

More women. Better looking and better acting. Less work. More fun.

What more could you want?

I can teach you how to have all this and more.

Just have a look right here.

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Ten Fatal Mistakes With Women - Part 5

Saturday, April 5th, 2008

part5.pngDear Speed Seduction® Student,

In our last installment of this series, I talked about the fatal mistake of carrying over your old limiting emotions, beliefs, ideas and ways of acting into your new efforts and new ways with women.

In this installment, I want to talk about yet another fatal mistake with women. So here we go with…

Fatal Mistake With Women Part 5:
Setting Your Sights WAY Too Low
This is a subtle mistake, but a deadly one.

In any area of life, where you haven’t gotten or enjoyed nearly what you want there are two basic ways of dealing with it that pretty much guarantee you’ll stay stuck for life.

You can:

  1. Lower your expectations so they match your current reality. Examples would be thoughts like, “Well, what’s the use. All women are bitches”. Or “There is no point in trying. Women only want tall guys(or skinny guys or rich guys) etc”. Or “Well, I don’t really want hot girls anyway. Ok looking girls are fine” Or “I better get what I can take; I’m too old now anyway”
  2. Ignore your current reality and pretend things are really as great as you want them to be. This takes the form of trying to talk yourself into staying with a woman whom you know deep down doesn’t satisfy or fulfill you, pretending that you are happy being alone, giving yourself constant “pep talks” about how things are going to be ok, asking advice from friends who tell you, “You’ll find someone” etc etc etc.

For most guys, this translates into setting their sights way, way too low. They settle for the first woman accidentally attracted to them, and then they try like hell to hang on. Or they see a woman who is truly desirable, truly attractive, but talk themselves out of taking a true step.

Over the years I have heard these stories from hundreds, if not thousands of guys. Usually it is from guys who are stuck on one woman; either a woman they are already with, or one whom they have been fantasizing about and hoping to get with for months or years!

I always ask them the same question: “If you knew with 100% certainty you could go out today and meet 5 women, all of whom are much hotter, smarter, open, cool, loving and fun, would you waste even a moment with this girl?”

That one usually shakes them up, and good.

So instead of denying your desires or trying to con yourself into thinking your current situation is actually really great, isn’t it time you grabbed for the tools and the teacher who can lead you into the third option: having a reality that matches your wildest dreams and visions?

I’ve taught thousands of guys to do this. I can do the same with you.

Aim up. Aim high. It’s time to take back and own your wildest dreams of success and happiness with women. It is possible, you can do it, as thousands before you have.

All you need do is open your mind.

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Ten Fatal Mistakes With Women - Part 4

Friday, April 4th, 2008

part4.pngDear Speed Seduction® Student,

In part III of this series, I talked about knowing when to shut up and let the woman do the talking, and how to guide that talking so….

She Talks Herself Right Into Your Bed!

I explained how, contrary to the teachings of my bone-head failed former students, spinning your own routines and stories about your exciting, envious, action-drenched life is actually one of the dumbest things you can do.

So now let’s continue with this series as I reveal…

Fatal Mistake With Women # 4: Carrying Your Old Limiting Emotions, Ways Of Acting And Responding Into Your New Efforts To Enjoy New Realities With Women

One of the most difficult aspects of making massive improvements in any challenging area of life is making sure you don’t bring your old and well-learned limiting beliefs, ideas and emotions into the new ways you wish to think and act.

Yes, you have to have effective and powerful technology that addresses the technical problems of dealing with women in the world. You’ve got to have the right rules and tools.

But you also have to make sure your old ways of thinking, feeling and acting don’t keep cropping up, creating friction and interference with the new technology you are attempting to master.

(If you have ever felt like part of you wants to change, but another part is fighting you, trying to keep going back to the old ways, this is what is going on. Your old ways of thinking and feeling are fighting it out with the new ways you want to master. )

Listen: having powerful tools of emotional management and personal clarity are required to insure you can make the most of changing how you relate to women and the success you enjoy.

That is why I teach them as a vital part of my Speed Seduction® program.

Without them, even the best tech is hit and miss. With them you will have a powerful set of skills to insure your success with the women you desire AND deserve.

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Ten Fatal Mistakes With Women - Part 3

Friday, April 4th, 2008

part3.pngDear Speed Seduction® Student,

I must be hitting some raw nerves with this series, because I am getting some wonderful feedback.

In Part II, I explained the all important difference when it comes to interest, investment and commitment to action with women, and how mastering this will skyrocket your success, satisfaction and enjoyment with women.

Now I would like to talk about the third fatal mistake with women. This one is relatively easy to correct(note I said “relatively):

Third Fatal Mistake: Opening Your Mouth More Than Your Ears

Listen: much of what we are commonly taught about success with women, is not only wrong, but dead wrong. It leads to confusion, frustration, settling for women you can get, staying with women you’d leave in a moment if you could do better, occasional relationships by “mistake” etc etc etc.

It sucks.

Often success in any area of life involves ignoring and even doing the exact opposite of what people tell you.

So contrary to the utter bovine feces that is being taught all of those “pick up” gurus-who are mostly my failed former students anyway-you should NOT be doing most of the talking, spinning your “value demonstration” routines, and monopolizing the conversation.

Instead, understand that if you can get a woman talking in the right direction, about the right themes and topics, and if you can learn to observe and guide the powerful emotions she experiences as she does so…

She Will More Often That Not TALK HERSELF RIGHT INTO YOUR BED!

I cannot tell you how many times, time after time, women have virtually handed me their “seduction road map” all because I knew how to get them talking in the right direction that stirred up all their juicy emotions.

In fact, there are actually six major conversational themes or topic I’ll teach you, any one of which will get a woman steaming hot, invested and ready to act on her desire with you!

(Remember, as I said in the last issue, strong emotions are just the first step in the interest—>investment—>commitment cycle.)

But in order to do this, you have to listen to what she is saying. That means you need to know when to shut your mouth and open your ears. And you can’t do that if you are blabbing all the time.

So shit-can those club-routines my retarded, flunked-out, former students are peddling, and learn to listen your way into a woman’s bed. It’s the smart, fun, and easy way to have the satisfaction and choice with the truly desirable women you’ve really wanted.

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Ten Fatal Mistakes With Women - Part 2

Thursday, April 3rd, 2008

part2.pngDear Speed Seduction® Student,

Yesterday I told you about a radio interview I did, in which the on air talent asked me, “What are the 3 or 4 biggest mistakes guys make with women?”

I went over the first fatal mistake with women: over focusing on the behaviors and actions you want from her, instead of focusing on the emotional states you would like her to be in when she is around you. I explained that in the right emotional states-fascination, desire, lust-a woman will naturally want to give you all of the behaviors that you want from her.

So let’s get to…

The Second Fatal Mistake Guys Make With Women: Not Getting The Woman To Invest In And Keep Reaching For The Powerful, Positive Emotions She’s Feeling For You!

Pay attention now, because I am about to clear up one of the most confusing, frustrating, “tear out your hair” realities about women. If you have ever had a seemingly great first meeting or date with a woman, where it really felt like you were both “clicking”, both having “chemistry”, even making out like crazy AND YOU NEVER HEARD FROM HER AGAIN, then I am going to clear that up and show you how to never have that happen again.

So listen:

If you are always moving forward with a woman, constantly giving her the strong emotions she wants, you are not giving her the sense that these experiences with you are something of great value that she has to work for to get more.

Women need to feel, on some level, that they are reaching for more. That the emotional experiences you give them are something THEY want more of and must work for and pursue.

This is the true explanation behind the “half-truth” that says that women want what they can’t have.

Well, that is a bunch of bull. Most women can’t have an African elephant step on their heads, and they don’t want it either.

The truth is that if a woman wants something, she will want it much more if, on some level, she has to reach for more of it.

If you are constantly moving forward with a woman, constantly showing her your interest and constantly giving her strong, powerful emotions, you are actually STRONGLY interfering with the inner process she has to undergo to feel that these experiences are something she has to get more of!

To put it another way, even the hungriest person will sooner or later feel full if you keep shoving the pasta down their throats.

So knowing how to pull back a little bit and make a woman keep reaching for the attention and interest and strong emotions you are showing her is a key to turning her momentary strong interest into powerfully strong actions.

In case you are a real moron and need it spelled out for you, here is the formula:

Strong interest + having to reach for more = STRONG ACTIONS

Once you get a woman’s interest, you have to get her investment. And once you get her investment, you can get her commitment to the actions you want from her.

Interest——>Investment——>——-Commitment——>Action

Just to be clear, a woman’s commitment certainly doesn’t have to be verbalized or stated on her part. And the gap between her being emotionally committed and her actions could be so fast that they appear to be one and the same, and for all intents and purposes, they are.

A metaphor before I wrap this up to help you understand the difference between these three things: in a breakfast of bacon and eggs, you, the hungry person are interested. The chicken is invested. But the pig is COMMITTED!

Take me on as your teacher and coach, and the confusion around women will be replaced with uncanny and totally accurate insight into where they are in this process, how to guide them through it with a sense of power and fun, and enjoy how great THEY feel surrendering to you every step along the way.

And doesn’t that beat a poke in the eye?

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Ten Fatal Mistakes With Women - Part 1

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

part1.pngDear Speed Seduction® Student,

The other day, I did a radio interview that went much better than I would have expected.

You see, I’ve done hundreds of radio interviews in my fifteen plus years of teaching Speed Seduction®, and usually the hosts are dumb as a bag of rocks.

But the hosts of this interview were actually quite bright, and one of them asked me a question that forms of the basis of this report:

“What are the top mistakes men make with women?”

Now, as I answered her, I realized that this crucial information needed to get out to far more people than were listening to that program.

Hence this report, that will reveal ten fatal mistakes that almost every guy is making, in one way or another. Any one of these mistakes is bad news for your success with women, but if you are making three or more of them, you are virtually guaranteeing yourself a life of struggle, settling, and very possible sexual starvation. And I don’t wish that on anyone.

On the other hand, when you correct these mistakes, and you’ll pretty quickly find yourself in a world of power, choice, satisfaction, and fulfillment with the kind of women your friends just dream of and drool over.

So let’s get going with the first fatal mistake. I realize it is a big mouthful, but bear with me and I will explain every word. Here we go:

Fatal Mistake #1:Overfocusing On The Behaviors And Actions You Want From Women Instead Of First Focusing On Creating The Right Emotions To Motivate Those Behaviors And Actions

Ok. Like I just said, I realize I said a big mouthful. But bear with me here, because getting this concept could turn your entire life around when it comes to juicy fulfillment with awesome women.

Listen: for the most part, as males, we are very behavior and action focused. We think of terms of what we want to do, how we want to act, and what we want others to do and how we want others to act.

In the case of women, we are most likely to ask ourselves questions like, “How can I get her to go out with me? How can I get her to sleep with me? What can I do to get Debby to have a threesome?” Etc etc etc.

We don’t ask questions about how we want women to feel. We ask questions about how we can get women to act.

Now it is all very well to be goal-oriented; I support that and approve of it.

However, when it comes to women, the key to getting them act the way you want is to ask:

“What are the emotional states in which it would be most natural for her to do all these great things with me, to me, and for me?”

In other words, if Debby or Sally or Hortensia is going to sleep with you/blow you/have a threesome, what are the emotions/emotional states she needs to be in to most easily and naturally want to be do these things?

Now, I realize this is a pretty foreign and off-center way for us guys to be thinking. But bear in mind this rule of personal change I’ve taught thousands of guys:

“The further a way of thinking or acting stands from what you are used to doing, the greater the potential for results much better than what you are used to enjoying

Put another way: the further you stretch, the greater you progress.

You see, to have great results with women, you don’t just need to change your actions. You need to change how you are thinking.

Given the truth of this, start learning to ask, “What emotional states would be useful for women to experience when they are around me so they naturally want to do all the things I want them to do with me/for me/to me?”

Now, when I ask this question in my seminars, the answers I typically get from students are:

“Lust”

“Fascination”

“Arousal”

“Attraction”

“Urgency”

All very good, very useful, and very powerful emotional states in which to guide women.

But I would also balance these with the following:

“Safety”

“Trust”

“Comfort”

“Connection”

You see, not only do most guys not even think in terms of emotional states. They don’t think in terms of having the proper balance of emotional states.

We can think of the first set of emotional states I listed as being in a general category I’ll call “heat”. Meaning that when women are in these states, they are feeling strong body sensations of desire, sexual arousal, etc.

We can think of the second set of emotional states as “comfort”. Meaning that there is an overall(but less intense) body sensation of being “ok”.

Sometimes this just amounts to an absence of negative emotions like “fear” “anxiety” or “worry”. In that sense, these states are more about what ISN’T there; it’s not that women are feeling an overall comfort, but that they are not feeling threatened or fearful. For some women, that is all they require when it comes to the “comfort” states.

Sometimes, there is a more active overall body sense of well-being, feeling connected in a good way to the man, safety, comfort, etc. Some women require that.

When you are engaged in the process of very successfully attracting women, the key is to get a good balance of comfort and heat. You need both to shape her feelings in a way where she feels an urgent need to jump your bones(to use scientific terminology).

Getting both in the right proportions and the right time is where most 99 % of guys fall down flat.

The “nice guys” are fantastic at creating the comfort states. So a woman feels perfectly safe. But perfectly safe and only that leads to hearing….

…”Let’s Just Be Friends”

To which I say, “No. If you want a friend, get a dog.”

Guys who can only or mostly generate the heat states are certainly much better off than the “nice guys”. But the problem for these “players” is that often, as turned on as a woman might be, if she doesn’t also feel some kind of comfort state, she’ll put up lots of last minute resistance or just plain talk herself out of the entire thing. Or go ahead with it and deeply regret it the next day and make the player’s life a living hell.

So not only will creating the right mix of emotional states of heat and comfortIt will help make the entire experience much more rewarding and fun for you AND them much more easily get women jumping into your bed. .

And that sure beats a poke in the eye, doesn’t it?

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